Art by Sefira Lightstone
A WEEKLY TORAH THOUGHT FROM RABBI MORDY
Parshat Vayeitzei, this week’s Parsha, contains so much drama and, in typical fashion, so many lessons. Jacob is fleeing the wrath of his brother Esau and seeks refuge with his uncle Laban. Laban has two daughters, an older one named Leah and a younger one, Rochel, whom Jacob wants to marry. Laban tricks Jacob into marrying Leah first; Jacob then works for Laban for another seven years in a deal to marry Rachel as well. Adding insult to injury, Laban continues to swindle Jacob in business as he tries to earn a livelihood. Through all this, Jacob grows up; Jacob the “Tent Dweller” of last week’s Torah portion—book smart but very unworldly and perhaps aloof—has become a man of the world. He learns that not everyone is well intentioned and that sometimes we need to navigate difficult waters in order to survive. But that’s what growing up is all about. We can surely shield ourselves and our children from the woes of the world but at some point, in order to become an emotionally mature adult, he or she (and we!) will need to go through a challenge in order to become our best selves.
One could easily look at Jacob as a hapless victim. A man whose brother wants to kill him (after his father somewhat overlooked him) and who is now getting bamboozled by his last great hope – his uncle and father-in-law to be (twice)! Like shouldn’t he be one to say, “I’m done. This isn’t for me. I signed up to be studying on a mountain top somewhere and somehow I’m in the thick of all this drama.” (And we haven’t even discussed the issues that arise with his wives and sons… )
But, here’s the clincher: Jacob is the only of our forefathers who is called “complete.” Because through all this, Jacob didn’t just survive, he built a big beautiful family – not without its share of family complications – who would ensure the future of the Jewish people. So when faced with a challenge of our own, or when our children face them, let us view them from this perspective. Life is not meant to be a pleasure cruise; by navigating its often turbulent waters with patience and calm, we become better, more “complete” versions of ourselves and fulfill our true mission in this world. Good Shabbos!