Fantastic Beasts and where to find them: so where to start. This is a good standalone film, in the Wizarding world franchise…or at least it should have been a standalone movie…but no instead stupid JK Rowling (BTW I ain’t a fan of her and I won’t be getting into why…let’s just eay she said something offensive against transgender people, wow and this is the person u people like) so anyways her and Warner Brothers decided they should make this into a 5 part movie series….5 parts…so the plot is basic…a wizard named Newt Scammander travels to New York, and in London he bumps into a guy named Jacob Kowalski…and he is trying to open up a bakery…also this actor who plays Jacob..plays in walking dead Seasons 9 and 10….also another actress in this film plays in walking dead seasons 9 and 10..but ill get to that later….so if ur wondering where Newt and Jacob bump into each other….well at a bank…and guess what Newt and Jacob are carrying the exact same looks brief case…but u guys can’t take 2 guesses whats gonna happen…is it A. Nothing or B. They both accidentally grab each others bags….if u guessed B, then ur correct….also I forget to mention in this beginning of this film we see Gellert Grindelwald…and we only see the back of his head…but we Extinctly see what his hair looks like…its white…..and as for the hair style…hard to explain best way I can Is it look like combed down Mohawk….and well a few almost 10 or 6 min later we see a guy walking up to a scene and we only see his back of his head and he has the same hair style…just this time black hair…and he is played by Colin Farrel…..seriously its not a surprise who he’s playing .. its obvious….especially sense we see the back of Grindelwald head and the back of this guys head and they have similar hair styles…but otherwise…oh so mysterious, whoever can he be playing?…so his character name is lord Percival Graves….yes because a name with lord and Graves in it , totally sounds like a good guys name….and he is apart of the ministry of new York….ok sorry getting distracted….actually let me continue with him….and in this film we see a character named Credence Barebone…played by Ezra Miller…yeah that Ezra Miller who plays Flash in justice league….BTW I ain’t a fan of that actor…because a few months ago he was caught in public choking a fan of his…..what a douchebag….so besides that…his hairstyle in this film is ugly….spoiler alert we find out near the start of the third act…that he has powers he has been holding in which…if a witch or wizard suppresses there powers for to long they become a creature named the abscurus…I believe that’s how its spelled….so anyways……later on lord Percival Graves befriends Credence and tires to have him help him find the Abscurus….without even knowing he is talking to the person he’s been looking for…also Credence has an abusive mother in this film who is played by Samantha Morton…who plays in walking dead seasons 9 and 10…as alpha…the abusive mother….such…irony?….she basically playing similar roles in both… let’s just say credence kills her at the end of the film….cool…..I guess?….so back to Jacob and Newt….Jacob is a Muggle…which is a non wizard….and he accidentally releases the creatures that are in newts suitcase…..so now Newt and a woman he bumps into named Porpentina Goldstein….who works for the ministry of magic in New York….and she and newt go find Jacob….and find him injured…BTW this film is funny…the interactions between newt and Jacob are funny…thats another reason i like this film……and well Ms Goldstein decides to bring both men back to her apartment, where her sister is at…who’s name is Queenie Goldstein….her power is she can read minds….actually that could be cool or a curse…so anyways let’s just say Jacob and Queenie fall in love…and the rest of this film is both Newt and Jacob hunting down his creatures and putting them back into his briefcase….its a simple movie but with great humor…..so anyways in the third act our main 4 characters try to stop Credence from causing damage or trouble….while Percival is tying to manipulate him…and while the ministry is tying to kill him…how lovely….so of course Newt and Ms Goldstein try calming Credence…but then Percival comes and attacks them…in the subway where there at….and then the ministry come in and kill Credence. ..or we sure as he’ll think he is dead until the second film….then Percival turns on the ministry and says its time for our kind to be revealed to humanity…..and they start attacking Percival….of course Newt uses a spell to tie up Percival and Ms Goldstein uses a spell to take his wand away…and Newt uses a spell to reveal Percival true face…and guess who he is…its Grindelwald….thats right Grindelwald was in disguise as a minister of magic this whole time…also he is played by Johnny Depp….and his character design is white combed back Mohawk and pale skin and a white mustache….its almost like they were making voldemort 2.0…..oh and he has a single white eye ball…odd…..ok and I don’t want to get into this but recently Johnny Depp been fired from fantastic Beasts franchise due to him being accused of beating up his ex wife….wow…so this film was written by a transgender hating person. And this film has a actor who chocked a fan of his and another actor who abused his wife….yeah I’m not sure who I should be hating more….oh wait…its Warner Brothers…because they decided to fire Johnny Depp…but not Ezra Miller for beating up a fan, I would think that would warrant a firing….so anyway Grindelwald gets arrested….and Newt and his creatures go back home to London….and continue writing his book on magical creatures. Also they had to wipe Jacob’s memories….so he doesn’t remember any of this….and he now opened up a bakery….the film ends with Queenie entering his bakery…and he starts recognizing her…the end…overall I really enjoyed this prequel…but I despise the second film…I give this a solid 9.5/10
Fantastic Beasts the Crimes of Grindlewald: oh boy this movie is horrible..
..let me tell u why…its because this movie Rercons so many moments from the Harry Potter books and movies….idk how…I mean JK Rowling wrote the script for this movie…oh that explains it all…I believe that JK Rowling has lost her marbles in the last past 5 or so years…so anyways the beginning of this film starts off in the…in the Empire State Building?…huh…and it turns out the wizards have there jail cells in that tower…I don’t know how muggles have missed that…oh right muggles can’t see anything….my bad…or that’s at least what we’re told in the Harry Potter movies…so anyways we see a random guy walk up to Grindlewald cell, to see his transfer doesn’t get hijacked…..oh this random dude…was a random minister from the first fantastic Beasts movie and he had a crush on Queenie…good to know I guess?…and well we Grindelwald not talking…turns out they had to cut his tongue out because he manipulated some guards into trying to free him…so they take him up to the carriage while thestrels..(im sorry if I’m butchering half these names, I apologize) start pulling the carriage into the sky…but guess what happens…we find out that the Grindelwald in the carriage was the random person and the random person who visited his cell was Grindelwald…thats right it was a bait and switch situation…so this random Joe guy is a bad guy, yet he wasn’t in the first movie…script I guess?….so anyways Grindelwald has the elder wand and this scene ends with him saving his follower….so blah blah…Newt is in France and he bumps into Dumbledore (played by Jude Law)….he tries to recruit Newt to defeat Grindelwald for him……long story short Newt refuses….and he goes back to his apartment and finds Jacob and Queenie…turns out the spell to wipe his memories wore off and only erased his bad memories….strange I don’t remember that a thing the spell does…also side note besides that continuity……this film takes place in 1927, and the events of when Tom riddle was at hogwarts was in 1943….Dumbledore in this film looks like he’s in his mid 40s….Dumbledore in 1943 looks like a 70 year old man…can someone plz explain to me how he rapidly aged 30 years in the spam of 16 years?…it ain’t magic because there no spell to age someone faster…wait there is but its a temporary one that wears off….so in other words….this makes no sense…so anyways Newt figures out Queenie has Jacob under a love spell…oh it gets worse..she was having him marry her while he’s under a spell..thats right he doesn’t decide to marry her of his own free will…no he does it because he possessed….wow…am I supposed to like her because I am not….so anyways Newt takes the spell odd and Jacob and Queenie well end it because Queenie is being an annoying woman who says …aww all I wanted was a man to marry….Jesus lord woman…I think ur the literal definition of an unhealthy relationship….ok so blah blah…I forget the middle of the movie…oh right nagini is in this film and she is a human….huh….thats odd I don’t remember Nagini ever being a human…further more I don’t want to think that nagini in the Harry Potter movies has three souls…a human soul, a snake soul and voldemort soul…just no…2 souls in a snake was already weird enough, I don’t need to think that a snake has a third soul let alone a human soul…ok so anyways she teams up with…Credence…dunnnnn…eh…I mean seriously is it a shocker that he is alive…he was in the poster for this movie and in the trailers…ok so anyways Newt bumps into Tina Goldstein (right thats her name sorry i just looked up her name all of a sudden) and apparently she is jealous…because she saw a picture of Newt and a woman named Leta Lestrange…thats right another person related to Bellatrix Lestrange…how lovely…but don’t worry Newt clarifies that no he ain’t marrying Leta…infact itd his brother who married Leta..woops a simple misunderstanding…oh and if ur wondering what Grindelwald is up to…he is um plotting….and recruiting men….and thats it…so anyways….in this movie we’re led to belive that Leta younger brother gone missing…ill get to that later…right Sorry for jumping around…oh and side note this film in the second act uses the same plot as first movie…Newt and Jacob hunt down a few creatures…woo-hoo so original ….oh here’s another retcon….professor McGonagall is in this film…thats right this film that takes place in 1927 and in the books it’s established she wasn’t born until 1935..but yet somehow she’s in this film and is an adult…..I dare u guys to try to explain this or find any logic…because I’m starting to think this movie is just a giant nightmare….oh and another retcon…..some dude is trying to hunt down Leta Lestrange brother and kill him….turns out the guy has the unbreakable vow …now in the 6th movie and in the book we find out that if u break an unbreakable vow…it will kill u….now let’s see if this lines up with what the book tells us…nope, not at all….no instead this film tells us if u break an unbreakable vow…u get a scar on ur hand?….…sigh……oh and another retcon….in one scene Dumbledore looks at the mirror that can show u ur desires …even if there not true or will never happen …so that’s whats established in the Harry Potter books and films…how does this movie undo that…easy instead the mirror shows Dumbledore an event of something that actually happened….odd I don’t remember the mirror being used for looking at a past memory……how many retcons did pirates 5 have?…..4?..ok well at least that’s not much…now how much does this film have?….6!?..wow…..just wow…movie there is no word to describe how dumb that is….I mean u can’t make this up….its just dumb…and again this script is written by the woman who wrote the Harry Potter books…she knows what she established in her books…how on gods greens earth do u retcon almost everything ur books and movies have set up!!?..no seriously, did she have a stroke while writing this script…ugh!!….moving on…so yeah besides that….later on Jacob bumps into Nicholas Flamel…thats right the owner of the sorcerers stone…the mysterious man we heard of in the first Harry Potter movie…we finally see him in this movie…and whats his role in this movie?…nothing, except for being a glorified cameo…yep I should just expect nothing more from this film….how great lovely….frack….anyways…Jacob looks in a crystal ball and sees bad stuff happening to his friends…so he goes to the graveyard to help his friends…BTW we see a small glimpse of the sorcerer stone…no sorry I take back what I said about Nicholas being a glorified cameo…no that title goes to that brief little shot of the stone itself…now that’s a glorified cameo….so now the third act is coming up…..they bump into leta and so does black man who is hunting her down…we find out that her brother is dead…that he baby brother died at sea..by drowning in the ocean…God…..christ..movie, thats dark….heck even Disney wouldn’t get that dark and thats the company that kills off a kids parents…so anyways after that they find a secret door that leads to a room where Grindelwald is saying his evil speech infront of his followers…..its kinda bizarre though….he tries convincing his followers to join him by saying he won’t kill muggles and that he doesn’t hate them…but then literally a few moments later he says there the cause of wizards dying and that he wants to inslave majority of the muggles and or kill some…uh huh…sure…go ahead contradict ur own self…makes so much sense…oh BTW guess who turns evil in this film….Queenie…thats right God dam Queenie turns evil…yeah makes so much sense…that loveable woman from the first movie is now a follower of wizard Hitler…and all because she wants muggles and wizards to date…that or she wants to make it legal for wizards and muggles to date…so she can date Jacob….yeah ..and she totally believes she can accomplish that goal by following a guy who wants to inslave muggles….and or kill them….but sure go follow wizard Hitler…im sure ur plan will work…🤦♂️…so a fight breaks out and Queenie joins Grindelwald…he Teleports his men out of the graveyard…he first has them walk through a rung a blue fire that he set around him….and he starts burning to death ministry men and woman……then leta pretends to join Grindelwald…just for her to try to attack him…and he kills her…wait what!?….its hinted that she’s the last Lestrange…so if she’s the last Lestrange…then bow does Bellatrix Lestrange come to be born…because now leta is dead…..MOVIE!?…plz explain?…this doesn’t compute….so anyways!!…..now newts brother is devastated….understandable…..then Grindelwald leaves but before he does he says he hates Paris….good for u…I guess?….so our main characters Teleports out of the catacombs…and a giant blue dragon fire escape and now they have to prevent the dragon from escaping and heading to the city…so Nicholas Flamel shows up and they all dig there wands into the floor and create a shield around the dragon which kills the dragon…I forget how….so anyways I forget to mention that credence went with Grindelwald whole nagini stayed behind…..so then Newt and his friends go to hogwarts and we find out that Dumbledore did a blood oath with Grindelwald…which means if he tries to kill Grindelwald…the spell with kill Dumbledore…whatever a blood oath is….so then before the film ends, Grindelwald tells credence that he is a Dumbledore…..what!!?…movie…stopppp!!…..Dumbledore never had 2 brother’s…he only had 1 brother…this is so dumb…..again retcon…this whole film is a giant retcon…..my God i hate this movie….words escape me…this is a horrible film…its a disgrace to the Harry Potter films and books…..I am just baffled….I i…give this film a 2/10….bad….